Snapshot: and then my head exploded

OK, so why the frick are Fifty Shades of Grey and all its awful sequels and wannabe copycat smutty smut being displayed at my grocery store?

Don't get me wrong-- it's not so much the smut I disapprove of (although this particular species of smut is repulsive to me personally).  It's the crappy, crappy writing that just makes me mad at the whole publishing world.  I mean, publishers are so sniffy and dismissive of fan-fiction authors and people who publish on-line, because those writers refuse to make use of the golden talents of an editor.  Well -- what happened here, editing wunderkinder?  If these book were edited by a "professional," then stock up on your washboards and bags of rice, because the world really has gone to hell and the end of civilization is at hand.

And what is up with Safeway deciding that these dreadful excretions are appropriately displayed exactly in this location -- just above the Disney princesses coloring books and nestled next to the Big Nate storybooks and the Crayola products??  At the eye level of a precocious five-year-old???  This galled me most of all -- I had to come home and read a chapter of Pride and Prejudice to cleanse my mental palate.

Harrumph!

Because there's festive and then there's just mean

Well, we are slowly but surely sparkle-izing our home, getting ready for Christmas. I've said it before -- I do like to stroll into the merry season. But it does seem like every year the culture makes that harder and harder to do.

Now, just to be clear -- I'm not talking about people like my neighbor, whose yard was filled on Thanksgiving weekend with a menagerie of whimsical critters who twinkle the night away. This is festive, people! I can get behind this, even if my family's lights are a tad more subdued (and we got them put up a little bit later).

No, I'm talking about the cut-throat, competitive people who are in a race to see who can be "done" the soonest. And the culture (but really by culture I mean "advertisers") fosters this Grinchy attitude. Have you seen the dreadful Best Buy and Target commercials? In the Target commercial we see a mash-up of gleeful shoppers -- and not one of them says the word Christmas or holiday or celebrate. What's the one word they holler so joyfully? "Done!"

Warms your heart, doesn't it?

And here's a terrific Washington Post article about the Best Buy commercials, which are just plain mean -- to Santa, of all people!

Well -- I plan to stick to my slowpoke ways, and bring out a little more sparkle every day. We have our wreaths and our Advent calendar, and as of this weekend we have a (bare) tree. And eventually the little baby Jesus will celebrate another birthday -- right on time.

+++

Our Advent calendar today shows us Sister Wendy's Story of Christmas. Our family loves Sister Wendy, who has guided viewers through the great art museums of the world on several PBS series. She has written several books for children, in which she introduces them to beautiful art. This book uses masterpieces by the world's great artists to tell the story of the Nativity.

Thanks, Jack and Matthew!

Do something!

So I have gotten myself into a little bit of a state these past couple of days because I read this article about our local food pantry. I must say I feel a little overwhelmed with sadness and frustration and a modicum of angsty rage that this food pantry -- which for many people in our neck of the woods has been the only resource standing between their family and a kitchen filled with nothing -- has been forced to temporarily close its doors.

In our family the ACTS Food Pantry holds a special place because we have been participating in food drives to support it for over twenty years. The sunny girl and the girl in charge have both helped sort food during the food pantry's annual Operation Turkey drive in November. And the tall boy organized a neighborhood food drive for this food pantry as his Eagle Project. To prepare for the food drive he spent quite a few hours at the pantry, shelving food, helping to organize donations, and talking to the pantry director about his goals and dreams for the food pantry.

Of course for all of us, the dream is clearly that we can live in a community where an emergency food pantry is no longer necessary. But until that day arrives, the Food Pantries, Community Kitchens, Bread For the City drives and SOME (So Others May Eat) programs are nothing more or less than a rope that we can throw to our drowning neighbors.

We all MUST support these programs.

Please. My friends. Go to your community's food pantry right now. Yes, now. Get up, go to your cupboard. Grab that can of beans, that Top Ramen, that peanut butter, those pasta noodles. Get in your car right now and go to your food pantry. They need it so very badly -- they won't even care that you are still wearing your pajamas and bunny slippers.

My mother would tell you you are earning stars for your crown in heaven.

Thank you so much.

You want "Real Housewives?" I'll give you real housewives . . . .

OK, so I have never watched a single episode of "The Real Housewives of Any City on the Planet" -- and if I have my way, I never will. But unfortunately, I have encountered commercials, clips, and excerpts from this heinous television show, and I feel like my eyeballs should be rinsed in Clorox. Here are just some of the words that come to mind when I consider this television experience: vulgar . . . OK. That's the main word that comes to mind.

But the thing that most irritates me about this show, now based in Washington, D.C., is that these bimbos are foisting themselves off as "Real," as "Housewives," and as actually "from D.C." While Mrs. Bush and Mrs. Obama can both credibly offer themselves as real housewives of D.C., there is nothing real about any of the women on this horrible show, and everything -- EVERYTHING -- they say is a lie, including the words "a," "an," and "the."

So I thought I would introduce you to the REAL real housewives of D.C. Are you ready? I hope your sensibilities will be able to handle the truth:

While the FAKE housewives of D.C. are using biometric locks to keep their daughters away from their precious designer clothes, these real housewives are making clothes for their daughters and for their friends. While the FAKE housewives of D.C. are insulting everyone in the city who doesn't look exactly like them, these real housewives are truly celebrating diversity by making it just one fact of their lives -- not THE fact of their lives.

While The FAKE housewives of D.C. are drinking enough champagne to ensure that they will be unable to speak a coherent sentence, these real housewives are raising their kids, going to church, volunteering at their schools, hospitals, churches, food pantries.

This real housewife homeschools five kids, and has written a hymnal of traditional Latin liturgical songs with her daughters. In her spare time. In Latin. And she throws a kick-ass party.

This real housewife hangs drywall, tiles bathrooms, lays carpet, installs flooring -- and leads three Girl Scout troops, all the while ensuring that her three daughters stay active and engaged -- and that they never miss their weekly trip to the library.

This real housewife works two free-lance jobs and volunteers at her four kids' schools, and she ensured that her grandmother's last days were filled with tranquility and comfort and love. She also knows how to throw a swell party; and not once -- ever -- has one of her guests thrown a drink at anyone.

This real housewife went back to work when money got tight, and then stayed at her job even when it was no longer "necessary," because she knew that the students she worked with needed her. She is also raising three fabulous urchins, and is the queen of the afternoon swirl -- from dance lessons to Boy Scouts to internship site; she rocks a Honda Pilot.

This real housewife is raising four beautiful children; she also militantly advocates for Newborn Screening, turning her own family's tragedy into a cause that has saved countless lives all over the country.

This real housewife is a popular and busy substitute teacher; when she's not subbing, she's volunteering at the school. She's also a Girl Scout leader, a community volunteer, and an active member of her church, plus she does all the bookkeeping for her husband's business. And she's crafty as all get-out, y'all.

This real housewife works full-time for the U.S. Army and still is able to attend her kids' concerts and sporting events, and participate in marathons, 5K and 10K runs, golf tournaments, and breast cancer fund-raising walks. And Perfect Days in Manhattan.

This real housewife has served in the U.S. Army herself, and now works full-time to raise a family while her husband continues to serve. Interestingly, while some FAKE housewives and their husbands crashed a White House state dinner, with no thought or consideration for the fact that their actions had endangered the President of the United States, this real housewife and her husband have spent their entire adult lives defending the President, the nation and the whole idea of freedom. This means that while the FAKE housewives have continually pissed and moaned in order to get even more publicity, this real housewife and her husband have quietly put their very lives on the line -- to make sure that the FAKE housewives have the freedom to live selfish, thoughtless, moronic lives of no meaning.

Well! Now that I have gotten that off my chest, here is my challenge to you: the next time you are tempted to watch this awful, awful television show, why not take that time instead to pick up the phone or sit down at your computer, and thank a REAL housewife of your own hometown for all the ways she makes your community safer, healthier, more vibrant, more educated, more humane.

You'll make someone's day -- and you won't even have to gargle with bleach when you're done!