Oh, pipe down -- I know it's not October yet. Apparently the Germans love Oktoberfest so much you're allowed to celebrate it early. Or it officially starts early. Or my party hosts couldn't read the calendar. Whatever.

It wouldn't be Oktoberfest unless we enjoyed some brats along with sauer kraut and potato salad. Did you know that it is illegal to serve any sort of green vegetable at an Oktoberfest party? Totally against the law.

You are allowed to serve wine, though. Ask me to tell you about Oktoberfest monkey wine some time. It's a scary story -- maybe for Halloween.

But as you have probably gathered, we all just really like each other, and are glad of any excuse to get together. The fabulous neighbor told a ridiculous story, and since he's from New York he is completely incapable of talking without acting out the drama . . .

. . . even with a broken thumb.

I missed the punch line, but it must have been a humdinger.