Looking ahead to Christmas: now we can finally celebrate!

So Advent is almost over, but as most of you know the Christmas season really begins on December 25, as we celebrate the Feast of the Nativity. In the pre-commercialized past, traditional celebrations of Christmas really kicked in as everyone celebrated the twelve days of Christmas from Christmas Day to Epiphany on January 6. That's what the song refers to, obviously. That's also what Shakespeare is talking about in his play, Twelfth Night; in his time Twelfth Night, or Epiphany, was a time of revelry, when everything was topsy-turvy -- like the capers and shenanigans of the play.

In my crowd, we try pretty hard to stick to these old ways. The husband and I host a swingin' party on December 26 every year -- traditionally called Boxing Day in England (for reasons that are explained various ways by various sources).  A couple of days later we will all gather at Mr. and Mrs. K.'s home to sing carols and eat fabulous cookies and drink fabulous wine. We will also play The Name Game, which I have also played in its guise as The Colander Game. Either way, I will do well in this game if I am seated next to The Mother. Not that I am competitive, or planning my strategy already . . . .

On New Year's Eve we go to The Mother and her husband (so is he The Father? I don't think so, but I'm not sure why . . . ) for a black tie swanky soiree. Yes -- I said "black tie," and get this: it's so swanky, the invitation says "white tie optional." Boom.

And finally, on January 3, my whole extended clan of beloveds will meet at my sister's house for our family Christmas celebration, along with a rollicking game of "Dirty Santa." The primo gift last year was an ear wax remover, but I've got a few surprises up my sleeve this year; I think I can top that. This will be our last loving look at the Soldier, who will deploy to Korea on January 7. A brand new graduate of West Point and the field artillery school, he will take all, all the prayers with him when he goes -- please add yours to the pile!

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Again with the looking ahead, the Advent book for today is actually a great story to read on December 26 -- the Feast of Saint Stephen. If you know the carol you know that the good king and his servant boy went out into the cold winter night on the Feast of St. Stephen, "when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even." This little book tells the story of the carol. It's a sweet one!

"The Elfin Wars" OR "Once More Into the Breach"

I read this article in The Huffington Post, and it really got my knickers in a knot.  The key quote: "If you feel like a bad mother for not buying into the Elf on the Shelf, that's on you." Well. Can I just say that I feel like a bad mother multiple, multiple times in any given day, but never once has it had to do with an Elf -- shelved or free-range.

Here is the comment I left at the end of the article:

"The problem with "that's on you" is that YOUR kids are coming to school telling all the other kids that they got tickets to "The Nutcracker" from their elf. YOU are hosting parties for your elf, and staying up all night getting your elf up to cute capers and shenanigans, and nodding knowingly and disdainfully to other Elf-Lovers at the class Christmas party when a frazzled fellow mom expresses her angst about how much she still has to do before the grandparents arrive, and how the dog chewed the family elf, and how she wishes she could just once get her shit together. Most anti-elf mommies are not actually Grinchy about Christmas -- or even about the Elf. We do object to the Elf on the Shelf as a competitive sport. 

If you want to tear apart your house in the middle of the night every single night in the lead up to Christmas, that's on you. If you want to wrap a gift for every child in your house to be delivered every single day between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that's on you. But when you post it on Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, the Huffington Post, you are dumping it on me. When your kids make other kids cry because their families got "lame" elves, that's dumping it on them -- and by extension on me.  

By all means -- let's all parent our own kids. And let's support each other in our frailties, insecurities, and mistakes. But mommies competing with each other in the Elfin Wars (like the Hunger Games but with more powdered sugar) is one more reason why I will continue to speak up. 

[Interestingly the whole notion of Advent as a time of spiritual preparation for the birth of Jesus never seems to come up when mommies are flinging Elf anger back and forth at each other this time of year.]"

Harrumph, is what I really meant to say.  But the good news is that according to the article's title, I am [finally] a "cool mom." So that's something.

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Advent book!

An Amish Christmas is a great book that introduces the Amish customs of the Christmas season. Even without Santa or twinkling lights on the Christmas tree, these children see the wonder of Christmas -- and have lots of wintery Christmas fun, too!

"There's a double meaning there . . . ."

So what do you think is the deeper meaning behind this particular arrangement of books on the shelves of my local Target??

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And hey!  Advent books!

December 15:

Here is a lovely written version of the Gian Carlo Menotti children's opera, Amahl and the Night Visitors. This story is written like a novella, but those familiar with the score can sing the words of Amahl, his mother, and the three strange and wonderful kings who visit them on their way to Bethlehem.  Really, it's hard not to sing these beautiful tunes: "Don't cry, mother dear -- don't worry for me! If we must go begging, a good beggar I'll be . . . " Come on -- go ahead and sing!

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December 16:

On the first night of Chanukah, here is a great story, All the Lights in the Night , by Arthur A. Levine. Two Jewish boys, Benjamin and Moses, are fleeing Russia and making their way to Palestine. They comfort each other by telling stories of Chanukah. With only a battered lamp to light their way, they realize their own miracle of lights as they journey to the Holy Land.

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December 17:

Here's a silly little story for the mommies and daddies: "Jeeves and the Yule-Tide Spirit," by P.G. Wodehouse. Lovers of Jeeves and Wooster may already be familiar with this story, which was first published in magazines in December 1927, and later anthologized in Very Good, Jeeves (1930).  As the story begins, Bertie tells his disapproving manservant, Jeeves, that rather than go to Monte Carlo for the Christmas season, they will go to a friend's country house. Because " . . . does one get the Yule-tide spirit at a spot like Monte Carlo?" To which Jeeves asks, "Does one desire the Yule-tide spirit, sir?"

You'll snort with laughter!

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December 18:

Snow, by Cynthia Rylant, is a pretty little book that describes all the things one can do on a snowy day. As with most storybooks, the illustrations are what make this a book to read before bedtime, as you dream of a snowy day.

Advent Calendar: Day 13 and Day 14

December 13:

Here is a great wintery book to read this time of year. The Twelve Days of Winter shows an elementary school classroom as their teacher introduces a new winter activity every day. The text allows children to recite/sing/chant along with the accumulating counting rhyme, but the pictures that illustrate the story are made to be pored over. An observant urchin will notice the dancing girl, the shy student who needs to stay close to teacher, the two rough-housing boys, and one kid who has a finger up his nose in every scene! This one really tickled me.

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December 14:

In Listen to the Silent Night, by Dandi Daley Mackall, we learn that things were maybe not all that silent in the stable on the night Jesus was born! From the sound of the sheep and cattle rustling and baaing to the fluttering on angel wings, to the excited murmur of shepherds, the story of the Nativity is told in a way that is both reverent and clever.  And as you can probably tell, I am a sucker for a beautifully illustrated book. This one is lovely!

Small pleasures: Merry Christmas Wreath!

Well, so I have become one of those people. I have hung a Merry Christmas wreath on my car.

I know, right?

I first saw this phenomenon when I was working at Lafayette College in the 1980s. A student that I worked with and loved, the perky R.A. Sarah, had a wreath on her sporty little car, and I both loved and hated her for it, because I'm that kind of person.

I mean, it wasn't that I hated wreaths or Christmas or Sarah or cars -- and I loved the idea of a Merry Christmas wreath tied to the front of my own fun little red car. But I could never gather the wherewithal and motivation to get up off my ass to do something about it.  It never occurred to me to ask Sarah where she got her wreath or how she had attached it to her car -- or maybe even just to ask her to help me do it (translated = do it for me).

Over the years, my lazy ways hardened into a kind of Grinchiness that mocked the festive cars sporting their tidings of the season. Well, maybe I wasn't displaying full-on Grinch symptoms, but a definite crankiness crept into my attitude. I think part of it has been that whenever I saw a car with a wreath, I thought, "Dang it! Another year and I haven't gotten my wreath act together."

Well, not this year! I got me a wreath, and I got me some florist's wire, and I figured it out, maybe. I have no idea how long my handiwork will last. But as long as it does, my car will be fa-la-la-la-la-ing all over town!

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Here's a sweet little book that evokes memories of old-fashioned Christmas anticipation. Christmas in the Country, written by Cynthia Rylant, describes the winters of her childhood, when she and her grandparents prepared for Christmas as the snow gathered in their mountain home.  The decorations, the shared cocoa by the fire, the baking -- all are described in loving detail. It's a great reminder that some of the joy of the Advent season lies in the waiting, and in the preparation itself.